Home > Leftovers > Taking the Proust questionnaire (because Vanity Fair hasn't asked yet)

Taking the Proust questionnaire (because Vanity Fair hasn't asked yet)

The other day, I was looking at the latest copy of Vanity Fair.  One of my favorite parts of this publication is the final page – the vaunted “Proust Questionnaire.”  It’s like the pretentious questionnaire that James Lipton gives people at the end of Inside the Actor’s Studio.  Just longer.

So, halfway through the Jane Fonda interview, I realized two things.  1) I could care less what Hanoi Jane has to say.  2) I’d like to answer this, and there’s a pretty good shot that VF isn’t ever going to ask.  So, I started to answer these in my copious spare time (hence, it took a week or so).   Call this a more uppity Facebook quiz, but it’s not one I got in shout-out from a friend.  Enjoy.

What is your idea of perfect happiness? Spending time with with friends, having a beer and talking about Family Guy episodes.

What is your greatest fear? Snakes on a plane.  Or clowns.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Indecision.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Arrogance.

What is your greatest extravagance? Music and movies.

What is your current state of mind? Tired but happy.

On what occasion do you lie? When telling the truth will hurt someone’s feelings.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? Gotta be the gut.

Which living person do you most despise? Rush Limbaugh.  No, wait, who runs Sudan?  That guy.  No, wait, I’ll stick with Rush.

What do you most value in your friends? A wicked, skewed sense of humor.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? The who is my wife.  The what is NC barbecue.

When and where were you happiest? Probably my junior year in college.  The real world was far on the horizon, I loved my classes, I lived in the coolest dorm ever (Old East, baby!), and I just had a blast from start to finish.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I wish I was a bit more athletic.  And I wish I could fly.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? I can write good… well.  I can write well.  It wasn’t easy, but I made a living out of something that didn’t come easily.

Where would you like to live? The south of France.

What is your most treasured possession? Probably my house.

What is your favorite occupation? Of those that I’ve had, it’s the current one.  Of those that I haven’t had, I’d go with pediatrician.  I think that would be cool.

What is your most marked characteristic? I’d like to say it’s the ability to balance a sense of humor with a drive to get the job done.  Or my nose.

Who are your favorite writers? F. Scott Fitzgerald, Rick Atkinson, Stephen Ambrose, Mark Twain

Which historical figure do you most identify with? Wow, this was a tough one.  I keep coming back to Harry Truman.  He seemed to just fall into situations like I have.

What is it that you most dislike? The sound of someone squeaking a balloon.

What is your greatest regret? I wish I had taken a few more chances when I was younger.  Just thrown caution to the wind.  In other words, I was a wuss.

Which talent would you most like to have? Play jazz piano.

How would you like to die? Peacefully in my sleep.  Or fighting off a pack of clowns and/or snakes on a plane.

What is your motto? “I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.” – A.J. Liebling, American journalist

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Categories: Leftovers
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  1. May 5, 2009 at 10:56 pm

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