Home > Uncategorized > Watching Firewall, and man, I couldn't be more bored

Watching Firewall, and man, I couldn't be more bored

Tonight, the Wife and I sat down to watch Firewall on DVD this evening (the various HBOs were showing both Major Payne and Star Wars Episode III, each for the 375,034th time). I wish I could find that clip from the Family Guy where Harrison Ford’s character keeps running up to people on the street and asking, “Where is my family??” Because that’s a good synopsis of this movie thus far.

[Sidenote: We’re watching this on our 4-month-old Toshiba HD-DVD player. Yesiree, there’s nothing like looking at the next Betamax sitting in my entertainment center. F-ing Blu-Ray.]

Here are my problems with this movie:

  • I’m sick and tired of the gentleman thief bit. I could see a James Cagney or Humphrey Bogart pulling it off, but in a random action film, it comes across pretty shoddily. I mean, it worked well in the original Die Hard, but these über white-collar crimes being perpetrated by smooth-as-silk masterminds has been done to death. This blond guy, who looks like a souped-up Niles Crane, is horrible in this role.
  • Wait, the blond guy is Paul Bettany, whose horrible performance in Wimbledon did more to hurt the sport of tennis than last year’s betting scandal and the guy who stabbed Monica Seles.
  • OK, that last part was probably an exaggeration.
  • Couldn’t they name Harrison Ford something other than Jack? It’s not like the guy made a whole series of movies as Jack Ryan, which often centered on … hmmm… Harrison trying to keep his family out of danger that he faces in his job.
  • My biggest problem with the opening third of the movie – when Jack is wearing a wire, including a camera to show what he’s doing – is why Jack didn’t just look one way and write a note that explained the situation the other way. Sure, the penmanship may have been spotty, but Christ, it would have been better than nothing.
  • For the love of all that is good and holy, can’t we let Harrison Ford have a movie once where he just sits around and fishes? Does he always have to save his family/country/world?
  • We’re about halfway through it, and I just want this movie to end.
Categories: Uncategorized
  1. January 7, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    I heard that he was quite keen do a Neighbours cameo! Lol. Not sure how true this is, has anyone else heard it? There’s a bit of me that sort of hopes this is not true lol.

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