Home > Music > Led poisoning or… I just don't like Led Zeppelin

Led poisoning or… I just don't like Led Zeppelin

Earlier this week, I was surfing around the HD channels, and I saw Robert Plant singing a Led Zeppelin song (not sure which one). Since the guy has looked 50 for the past 20 years – seriously, how does he pull that off? – I assumed it was archival footage from one of his solo concerts. Turns out, it was the Led Zeppelin reunion concert earlier this week at the O2 Arena in London.

I gave it little thought until a few websites started in with the gushing reviews. This article, from the AP, is overwhelmingly positive, but it also includes a reference to one of those lines that you can only get in rock reviews. Try this on for size: “[Jimmy] Page dispensed power chords like an aged Thor lobbing down thunderbolts for kicks.” That’s just beautiful.

Well, as you can probably can tell, I’m not a big fan of Led Zeppelin. Throughout my teens, I just got bombarded with tons of messages from my friends that boiled down to one thing “Led Zeppelin is the most important thing that the Western world has ever produced.” There was often a coda: “And you’re a moron if you don’t agree.”

You know what? I never got it. Yes, I understand that Page, Plant, Bonham and Jones were very talented (see – I don’t own an album, but I know every one of ’em). And yes, they had a big influence on the entire heavy metal genre. I get it. But, if you know me, you wouldn’t think “metalhead,” so stop trying to convert me. It was like resisting five years of brainwashing. They did everything short of waterboarding.

My main counter-argument was: let’s all remember this whenever we speak of Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, ABBA, Human League, Jesus Jones or anyone else… they were drug-addled rock musicians. I once had a guy who told me that Jimmy Page’s talent was on par, if not above, that of Mozart. Yeah, we’ve all heard the stories of Jimmy Page composing songs at age five. And we all recall Mozart’s decision to collaborate with Puff Daddy. But, I digress…

I thought we had gotten past the Led Zeppelin hero worship, if only because they’ve been out of the public eye for a while. But, it was always there, just below the surface. And it’s gearing up again.

Well, this time, I’m happy that Robert Plant has short-circuited this next wave of metal nostalgia by going on tour – not with Zeppelin, but with bluegrass virtuoso Alison Krause. I couldn’t make that up, even if I tried. That’s like Ringo and Paul getting back together, but then Paul makes an album with Enrique Iglesias.

But back to Zeppelin. I started to complain about my Anti-Led sentiments to a co-worker the other day, and we came to the conclusion that this entry could lead to a firestorm of criticism. Much worse than the responses I got when I assailed the musical abilities of Taylor Hicks. Perhaps there are some much-beloved figures that are just simply off-limits. I didn’t believe it, thought.

That is, until I got behind a car going 10 mph below the speed limit yesterday. I was infuriated. I looked at the license tag, and noticed a familiar group of symbols. The four symbols from the Led Zeppelin IV album (seriously, I’m not looking that up… all that crap my friends spouted sunk in). In a feat of karmic coincidence, I was being angered by a Led fan. And all I had done was think about writing this.

Heaven knows what tomorrow will bring. This may be my final blog. If so, Taylor Hicks still sucks. At least I made it worth my while.

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Categories: Music
  1. Kevin
    December 17, 2007 at 2:36 pm

    You will not get bashed by me, I personally think you took it too easy on the old geazers. Give ’em heck Sweet Monkey Pie!!

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