Name that volleyball team

Like last year, I’m playing sand volleyball this summer in the local muni league. Beyond the excitement of potentially facing “That Guy” again, I’m also pretty stoked about one thing: this year, I’m the team captain… meaning I get to name the team.

Normally, most of the teams in our league come up with pretty vanilla team names. The team names fall in several categories:

• Use of a volleyball term in a “clever” way: There’s always a team called something like “Dig This” or “Net Result” or something else. Yawn.
• Use of a play on words, typically revolving around switching “sex” for “sets”: Here, we get a lot of “Anything for Sets” or “Group Sets” or something. Meh.
• Inside jokes: Do I care if your nickname is Boo, so you name your team after that? I guess it works for other teams, but I never really liked it.

Now, when it comes to my team, I want something new or unusual. Something that people would sit up and pay attention to, even if the team itself is absolutely horrible (and there’s a good bet that we will be, at best, average). In the early days of this blog, I wrote with pride about my college intramural basketball team, “Critically Caucasian.” I want something of that caliber.

Right now, here are the leading candidates:

• Wu Tang Clan – Nothing sounds better for a bunch of white, 30-ish suburbanites to team up with a hip hop name.  Plus, our rallying cry can be “Diversify Your Bonds, Bitches!”
• Eat, Hit and Die – Not many people “go there” with the hit/shit homonym.
• The Festus Eubanks Experiment – No idea what this means, but I’m down with it.
• On Court 3 – This would just be annoying. “Are you guys On Court 3?” “Yep, but we’re on court 2.” Abbott and Costello would be proud.
• Super Karate Monkey Death Car – Obviously.
• Pud’n – It’s just a fun word to say.  For anyone who remembers the MTV show “The State,” I could also go with “100 lbs. of pud’n” as a name.

Alright, people… feel free to suggest your own. Let’s see what we can do.