Home > Sports, TV > What we learned from tonight's UNC-Duke game

What we learned from tonight's UNC-Duke game

Nice win for the Tar Heels tonight taking out the Dookies 79-73. But, what the action on the court couldn’t hold a candle to the knowledge that Billy Packer and his wingman, Tim Brando were dropping for CBS Sports.

We all know my feelings about Billy Packer, the nattering naybob of sports announcing. So, while I’m still highly irritated about Pack’s effort with the completely ill-prepared and sometimes flummoxed Brando, let’s take stock of what we learned:

  • Although Dook routinely recruits McDonalds All-Americans, this team is somehow inferior and therefore they were a Rudy-esque, pitiful, how-are-they-even-on-the-same-court underdog. Oh yeah, Dook is ranked #16 in the country coming into the game.  And they were playing at home. And they were only 4 point dogs.  Yeah, this is Houston-NC State in 1983 all over again.
  • In the first half, UNC wasn’t being aggressive. So spake Packer. Not aggressive. Non-aggressive. Almost Ghandi-esque with the lack of aggressiveness. No es aggressivito. They signed a non-aggression pact with Stalin.
  • Because of Dook’s lack of depth (even though they have all-star players on the bench who somehow can’t contribute), the were very, very, very, very, very, very tired at the end of the game. They need a warm milk and a nap. Maybe some jammies.
  • In a related note, if you’re a Dookie, you apparently can’t play 35-37 minutes per game without getting very, very, very, very, very tired. If you’re playing the Billy Packer drinking game and you picked “Duke gets tired” as your trigger, you’re not reading this – you’re in an alcohol-induced coma.
  • Josh McRoberts, who played with four fouls the final 10 minutes, got a pretty good breather when picking up those fouls. ESPN hasn’t posted minutes played, but I don’t think he played as much as his other woefully undermanned mates. Yet, he was still given credit for being ex-freaking-hausted at the end of the game. [Update: McRoberts played 30 whopping minutes against the Heels]
  • Tim Brando coined a new term tonight: Tie Ball. It’s not a jump ball or a tie up. It’s a tie ball. Sweet!
  • Did we mention Dook was tired? I mean, think zombies ambling about. That was Dook. They deserve a medal for playing all 40 minutes, y’all.
  • One point where I do agree with Pack and Brando: the Cameron Crazies were very cordial tonight towards UNC players. However, they were also very bland and vanilla. I mean, The Wife watched the first half, and as a non-biased observer, she got tired of the “Let’s go Dook” (repeat 100 times) cheer.
  • Brando also identified Tyler Hansbrough as “Urlacher” tonight. Damn. That’s too high to get over. Too low to get under.

All in all, your standard Billy Packer joint. Rather than being happy about a hard-fought win, I’m more pissed that his commentary has become a pitiful mirror image of Dana Carvey’s “Grumpy Old Man.” In fact, it made me wish the ESPN feed wasn’t blacked out in my area. That’s right. I’d choose Dickie V. And doesn’t that say it all, sports fans?

If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to let that sink in… and probably puke a bit.

Categories: Sports, TV
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