Home > Leftovers, The Power of Sweet Monkey Pie > Need directions to nowhere? Google can help…

Need directions to nowhere? Google can help…

** NOTE: leave it to Google to ruin a good time. They’ve apparently fixed this bug. It happened Saturday and Sunday… I posted this on Sunday night. It was fixed by Monday morning.***

We’ve all heard the phrase “middle of nowhere” in connection to a rural, out-of-the-way locale. A place so remote that you can’t recall how you got there. Kinda like my hometown (Rose Hill, NC — pop. 1312).

Well, thanks to a quirk in Google (or The Google, as our Web-browser-in-chief calls it), you can easily get directions to “nowhere.” Apparently, the official “middle of nowhere” is just to the west-northwest of Coffeyville, Kansas. It’s just past the Coffeville Country Club, right before you get to Lakeside Dr.

How do I know this? Simple.

  1. Go to Google Maps
  2. Make sure you have the “Search the Map” tab selected.
  3. Type “From:” and then a valid address. So, it could be “From: 123 E. Main St. Walla Walla, WA.”
  4. Hit “Search Maps”
  5. In the results, you’ll notice that the “End Address” is blank, yet you’re getting directions to this godforsaken patch of Kansas.

From my house, it’s a scant 1,174 miles to nowhere. I can drive non-stop for a little less than a day and get there. Good to know.

I went to the satellite view, and oddly enough, Google doesn’t have a very good view of the middle of nowhere. You’d think they’d have a better pic of their default location. Microsoft Live has a bit better view of the middle of nowhere. And it looks pretty much like… nothing.

When I went to the driving directions feature, I couldn’t repilicate this error. Guess it has something to do with the “From:” prefix in the search mechanism. I don’t really care how it happens. I just want to know why. So, here are a few facts I learned about nearby Coffeyville.

  • Coffeyville is home to Amazon.com’s largest fulfillment center. Does this glitch portend a long, healthy partnership (or takeover) of Amazon by Google? Conspiracy theorists want to know.
  • The Dalton Gang had a daring double bank robbery foiled by armed Coffeyville townspeople back in 1892. Not sure what that has to do with anything. Except don’t f*ck with Coffeyville.
  • The population was 11,060 in the 2000 Census. To me, that’s a sprawling metropolis.
  • There’s little else that we need to know about this place.

Oh well, thanks to Google for enlightening me about this little corner of the world. I learned a little about nowhere. Not bad for a Sunday night.

  1. December 9, 2006 at 12:26 am

    Great entry! Only a true search engine optimization genius (or guy with way too much time on his hands) would ever think to leave the “To:” field in a Goggle place search blank. I’ve gotta hand it to you, you may have solved one of the great mysteries of the universe.

  2. December 9, 2006 at 12:28 am

    Oops. Did I misspell Google? I did! Never could type worth a damn.

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