Home > Sports, TV > Bunting or Dubya: Whose line is it anyway?

Bunting or Dubya: Whose line is it anyway?

Since we’re less than 24 hours away from the epic UNC-UVa game at Scott Stadium in Charlottesville, the media is abuzz with pregame columns about the state of these once-proud programs. And, glutton for punishment that I am, I’ve been reading a few of these things. Because I love to remember the 1996 loss at UVa that cost UNC a Fiesta Bowl birth. No sir… no bad feelings there…

(By the way, how thrilled are the guys in Bristol about this matchup on a Thursday night game on the World Leader? “It’s 1-5 Carolina versus 2-5 Virginia, tonight on ESPN. Three wins… two teams… one chance for redemption.” I’m guessing the background music for the intro would be something peppy like, “Send in the Clowns” or “Everybody Hurts.” But I digress…)

Actually, I don’t digress. As a service, here’s a list of shows that will be on opposite the UNC-UVa game for your viewing pleasure.

  • By all means, watch My Name is Earl and The Office on NBC. I went to the University of North Carolina… I own two degrees from the institution… I’m a season ticket holder in football… and I’ll be watching those two. No question.
  • HBO is showing Inside the NFL, one of the approximately 30 shows you can see each week that feature Bob Costas.
  • Apparently, there is a Hallmark channel, and it’ll be playing Walker: Texas Ranger. So you got that going for you. Which is nice.
  • Univision is showing La Fea más bella. In this week’s episode, Lety recuerda que Aldo la ayudó a valorarse y a tener confianza en sí misma para vencer todos sus miedos. My high school Spanish tells me that this is about Lety recording Aldo to help him boldly become a tenor and miss all of his … whatever miedos is. Three years of Spanish – wasted.  Regardless, this show looks like Ugly Betty in Spanish. And just the other day, I was saying to nobody in particular that a can’t-miss show would be Ugly Betty in Spanish.

Beyond formulating what to watch tomorrow, I’ve also taken a keen interest in what UNC’s coach, John Bunting, has been saying to the media. Because, when you’re in a tailspin, you can do one of two things: accentuate the positive or just freak out. You know, you can either say, “We’re doing some things well…” or you could go with, “If we don’t win this week, no more seconds at the training table.”

(For more on just freaking out, view this instant classic from the Arizona Cardinals’ Dennis Green following his team’s Monday Night Meltdown vs. the Chicago Bears. I mean, the question wasn’t even all that negative, and he started out fairly upbeat. And you slowly just saw him go, Hulk-like, into a rage. Kudos to my boy Carter for pointing out that the Cardinals’ PR guy immediately swooped in with a nice, “So… the players are available for interviews in the lockerroom” after Green storms out. That’s some good flak work right there.)

Bunting has gone with the first option, and in his haste to paint the program in a positive light, he’s starting to sound like our fearless commander in chief. You know how it is when Dubya is putting a positive spin on Iraq… or North Korea… or Iran… or boy-hungry congressmen… or any other issue causing his approval rating to sink lower than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut (and I know, the phrase is technically, “hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut,” but c’mon, that’s pretty low).

In today’s issue of the (Raleigh) News & Observer, Bunting showed an almost Bushian (Bushy? Bushesque? Bushtastic?) grasp of blind faith in the face of mounting odds. Check this quote, and replace “fans” with “citizens” and “program” with “country.”

“Should [fans] be frustrated? Yeah. Frustrated to the point where they’re thinking that the program’s not going in the right direction? No, the program’s going in the right direction.”

Voila! Nobody in the White House could have said it better. The next one is pure Dubya.

“I don’t look back on things. I want to look forward.”

I’m willing to lay down $10 that Bunting describes Virginia’s ground game tomorrow night (after the loss) as “nukular.” And I’d piss my pants if he refers to their fans as “a group of folks.” Then again, I’ve always thought that the Wahoos were part of the “Axis of Evil.”

Oh well, I guess it’s time for regime change. For either Bunting or Dubya. Unless one of them comes up with a better strategery. Fast.

Categories: Sports, TV
  1. TonyS Fan
    October 19, 2006 at 12:58 pm

    This was great! As a fellow UNC fan, it pains me that tonight’s game will be aired…hide the women and children, no one should have to witness this.

    I have no doubt Bunting loves UNC more then his folks and has the support of the faculty and staff of this fine institution. But it’s over…not even an implausible win against NC State will bail him out.

    Bunting is officially “Dead Man Walking!” I just hope UNC AD Dick Baddor is included in the “change.” I still haven’t forgiven Dick for passing on Mark Richt who went on to take the GA Head Coach job. Baddor is as much to blame as anyone….the man has been over his head since he took the AD job…..

    Let’s just hope there is a talented Head Coach out there willing to risk is reputation to bring us back to the the glory days of Mack Brown!

    Keep up the great work…

  1. November 3, 2006 at 9:26 am

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