Home > Sports, TV > Al Michaels. John Madden. Was that Pink? It's primetime football on NBC!

Al Michaels. John Madden. Was that Pink? It's primetime football on NBC!

To answer the question that Hank Williams Jr. asked so often on Monday nights in years past, “Yes, indeed. I am ready for some football.” So, tonight I sit down to watch the NFL… on NBC? On Thursday? And was that Pink singing the intro song? With John Madden and Al Michaels calling the game? I feel pretty disoriented… which makes listening to Madden a tad easier.

Take tonight’s game. Defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers vs. the Miami Dolphins. We’re 38 minutes into the broadcast, and Madden and Michaels have just spent 2-3 minutes talking about a “double bubble” in the defensive front seven. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but Madden just scribbled something on the Telestrator that looked like a couple of poorly-drawn penises. OK, I was ready for some football, but I wasn’t at all prepared for that.

By the way, the best part about John Madden’s slow and maddening trip into dimentia is the fact that comedian Frank Caliendo (of Mad TV “fame,” such as it is) has perfect one of the most dead-on impressions of John at his best/worst. Here’s an earlier impression from Mad TV, but you can see that the man has Madden down cold.

My other favorite part of the game tonight is the fact that all of my Steelers fans have been a wee bit unsettled about a Charlie Batch start. I’m sure a few of them didn’t sleep well last night in advance of tonight’s Batch-tastic game. Luckily for the black and gold, Batch scored an early touchdown, and thus far, doesn’t look as horrid as we expected.

Meanwhile, I’ve used the DVR to rewind and take down this actual quote from Madden about the Dolphins RB Ronnie Brown, who is often the “second banana” (the Mussina to another player’s Loggins):

“Right… and… and… and… you wonder… if… and last year like you said it was Ricky Williams… he’s always had another guy… and the question is, can Ronnie Brown take the whole load.”

First of all, I’d love to hear a reporter ask Brown after the game if he could “take the whole load.” Without any context or setup. Somebody might get slugged.

Also, Al Michaels apparently has been watching Dodgeball for good “drop in” lines, because he added, “That is a big question.” If he starts calling Madden by the name “Cotton” later, this will be the best broadcast ever.

OK, Madden and Michaels are ridiculing the Steelers’ punt returner for fielding a kick at the four-yard-line. This could go on for 30 minutes. I don’t have the patience or the talent to comment on this diatribe.

Welcome back to football, everyone. Should be a fun season.

Categories: Sports, TV
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