Home > The Power of Sweet Monkey Pie, TV > Don't call it a comeback. OK, it's a comeback.

Don't call it a comeback. OK, it's a comeback.

I’d like to say the Sweet Monkey Pie went down over the past week for a fun reason. Maybe the “ultra-orthodox sex commandos” who have been lurking thought that my site was some form of Internet porn. Perhaps we had too many hits, and the server crashed. Coulda been a vast right-wing conspiracy. Any of those would be cool.

My favorite excuse would be that we took the site down for “retooling.” Similar to what happens when a TV show debuts a stinker in the pilot, and rather than cancel it outright, they say that they’re going to retrench, recast, and re-release. See also every sitcom done by a Seinfeld alum.

Then again, many failures are just flat-out cancelled. My favorite recent example was Emily’s Reasons Why Not. Even though it starred Heather Graham — one of the most scrumtrulescent beauties in Hollywood — the show was el stinko from the word go. They aired the pilot, saw the horrid ratings and just killed it. Want to see a sad page? Check out the episode list on imdb.

Dig it… there were six episodes that never aired. And the first that was locked in the vault was titled, “Why Not to Date Your Gynecologist.”

Follow me here, people. You don’t have to be Norman Lear to know that any episode that has the words “date” and “gynecologist” in the title isn’t a winner. My guess is that the writers were going for “edgy and hip.” They instead came up with “crap, crap, crap, crap.”

The failure of Heather’s latest venture is puzzling. She is, as I may have mentioned, pretty hot. I mean really hot. And she did a fantastic job in Boogie Nights, and not just because she’s so… hot. She later stole the show, so to speak, as a recurring guest star on Scrubs.

So, why did this TV show fail so miserably. I’ll let the TV reviewer at Slate explain this one

There’s so much not to like about Emily’s Reasons Why Not… Somehow, though, Heather Graham’s inherent likability does shine through—it’s as hard to hate her as it is to spit on a teddy bear. But with every ill-chosen, blandly played role she takes on, it gets tougher to distinguish between wishing the poor girl well and just feeling sorry for her.

Oh well, I’m sure someone will give the poor girl a chance sometime in the future. Which is why I’m frantically writing a sitcom about a extremely hot blonde girl who… has silly misadventures… with, um… people… in a workplace-type setting. I’m not really sure what it’s about. But, I have a certain someone penciled in for the lead role. [Fingers crossed]

By the way, the reason the site was down? B-dizzle says that WordPress, the freeware behind this travesty, went kablooey. I think that’s the official technical wording. We’re back up and running. That sound you hear is millions of Internet readers… not caring. Peace out!

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