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A little "Lost" at the office

Back in the summer of 2000, practically everyone in America started watching the first season of Survivor. My officemates were no different. One day out of every week was practically a lost cause as people went from cubicle to cubicle talking about the previous night’s events. “Did you see what Richard did?” “Can you believe they’re forming an alliance?” “What’s the deal with [insert contestant’s name here]?”

But I wasn’t one of those people. I detested Survivor, like I do all “reality” shows. So, I would just listen in, pick a favorite and say stuff like, “Somebody’s going to get shiv’ed!” and then say that I thought we were talking about Oz. It was funny… to me… for about five minutes. My coworkers… well, if they could have made a weapon out of a toothbrush like those guys in prison, I might not be typing this right now.

The latest show that’s passing me by is Lost. It’s not a reality show, but I haven’t been able to get into it. But, folks are freakin’ out about this show. My boy Skeeter even watched the entire first season on DVD in about five days, staying up to the wee hours trying to play catch-up.

I actually did tune in to Lost for about 10 seconds last year, and, I kid you not, the first thing I saw was a bunch of people walking around the jungle. The guy at the head of the line says, “We’re lost!” Hmmmm… you think? Isn’t that the point? What are the odds I’d see that one scene out of all of them? Of course, it’s hard to dismiss a show on 10 seconds, but it was a little too ironic. You know… like rain on your wedding day.

Regardless, the show marches on and on. And doubtless, tomorrow I’ll walk into work to more Lost chatter. Unlike my Survivor experience, I have a good group of folks who indulge my sarcastic side. God bless ’em…

In fact, if you’re in an office setting where everyone enjoys a bunch watching a bunch of sweaty refugees caught in a sadistic plot to keep them confused and disoriented (and no, I’m not talking about Hurricane Katrina and FEMA), here are some great things to say that can either amuse or alienate your fellow employees:

1) “If the Professor could only make a working radio out of a coconut, they’d get off that damn island.” (Another good Gilligan’s Island reference is, “When do the Harlem Globetrotters drop by for the most confusing cameo this side of the Doobie Brothers appearing on What’s Happening?)
2) “My favorite character is Wilson the volleyball.”
3) “I think the final episode will show that the entire show was a dream that Michael Eisner had.”
4) “When they run into the Ewoks, it’s going to be good times.”
5) “Hey, which character do you think reeks the most at this point?”
6) “Since that guy from Party of Five is on there, is there any chance that Neve Campbell will get stranded, too? Really? Why not? Now THAT would be a show!”
7) “If Piggy gets the conch shell, it could really get ugly for those other kids.”
8) “Don’t you think the title Lost is a little ‘on the nose?'”
9) “Where are Brooke Shields and the guy… you know, the one that looks like Willie Ames?”

I’m sure there are others, especially if I could remember anything about Robinson Crusoe or other deserted island tales. For now, I’ll keep the snide comments coming. It’s the least I can do.

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Categories: TV
  1. Home Depot #20
    December 2, 2005 at 2:42 am

    You mock what you don’t understand! Lost is both completely original and appropriately familiar. It’s Cast Away plus the dialogue, Gilligan’s Island minus the laugh track, Survivor minus the reality and Lord of the Flies minus the killing. It’s 60 minutes of quality television that has us begging for more!

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